ECCAY RESOURCES

1. Speaker
2. Listener
3. Observer. The role is to observe the dialogue between the speaker and interviewer, and provide observer constructive feedback.

As a quick note, the exercise can be done without the observer role, due to time constraints, however the role adds on valuable information and being an observer allows one to look outward-in into the listening process. If the professional works with a pair, he/she should take on the observer role.

Step 2
In the first part of the actual exercise the participants are introduced to the topic of paraphrasing.

The professional explains to the participants the term paraphrasing and what it means, i.e. rewording of another person’s thoughts and/or feelings. It gives the message to the Speaker that the Listener is listening, is interested, is caring about what the Speaker is saying and is trying to understand what is important to the Speaker.

The participants also receive information on what they are expected to paraphrase. The professional explains that they should paraphrase the content, the emotion (in particular stemming from the Speakers, voice and body language) or both. The Listener needs to be aware that a good paraphrase gets to the core of what the Speaker was saying, and should be shorter than the original words. It should always begin with “you” (not “I”). In essence it aims to capture the Speakers’ intention, and not repeat the Speakers words exactly, but at the same time it should not introduce new concepts or thoughts.

The professional then provides examples. However he/she can decide to have a short paraphrasing practice in the case he/she considers that this would enhance the Empathic Listening exercise, and that due to the characteristics of their participants this would enhance the effectiveness of the full Empathic Listening exercise.

If the professional decides to do a short practice, these are the steps:

1. Create pairs
2. Ask the participants to speak on a topic that is important in their lives for about 30-60 seconds maximum.
3. When the Speaker finishes the Listener paraphrases the content, remembering the rules for paraphrasing.

 
Step 3
After the professional has explained (and in case of needs practised) the paraphrasing, the third aspect of the exercise is introduced, which is related to non-verbal paraphrasing and non-verbal communication.
The professional reviews with the participants the strategies for reflecting feelings described in Step 2.
Apart from these, the professional can also decide to provide examples or images and ask the participants to analyse whether there is adequate non-verbal paraphrasing.
The professional can also decide to do a short practice.
In this case a good option would be to use the same pairs as in the exercise of Step 2, but turn the roles around (Speaker is now Listener and vice-versa) and then ask the Listener to practice non-verbal paraphrasing.

If the professional decides to do a short practice, these are the steps:

1. Create pairs
2. Ask the participants to speak on a topic that is important in their lives for about 30-60 seconds maximum.
3. When the Speaker finishes the Listener using non-verbal paraphrasing the content.
    
   Step 4
   After these steps, a full-fledged Empathic Listening exercise is launched.
   
   Now the professional assigns the 3 roles: Speaker; Listener & Observer. The role of the Observer is emphasised, i.e. to observe the dialogue between the speaker and interviewer, and provides observer constructive feedback.
   
   The professional indicates a prompt to be used in the exercise, and which is to mark the start of the actual exercise. The prompt should be expressing the concern or reflection of the speaker related to the issue, problem or challenge to be addressed in the exercise. An example can be “Lately I have been thinking about how I handle difficult/emotional situations” or “I am concerned about the problems young people, like me, face to find a job” (the wording depends on the topic to be treated.
   
   The Listener then listens to what the Speaker is expressing, and after the Speaker has shared his/her initial thoughts, the Listener remains quiet and uses a pause.  If this pause does not prompt the Speaker to add on more detail or explanations to the initial thoughts, the Listener uses verbal paraphrasing on what the Speaker has said, and then pauses again.
   
   If the Speaker still does not continue to express their thoughts the Listener should use an open question (embedding verbal paraphrasing in the question), and then pauses again. The listener should be instructed that pauses should not last forever, but no time limit is set for them.
   
   During the full exercise the Listener should use non-verbal paraphrasing during the times the Speaker is talking. 
   
   The exercise goes on for about 90 to 120 seconds.
   
    The Observer records the following items:
   -        The pauses, i.e. describes the moment the pause took place (i.e. after mere silence on the side of the Listener, paraphrasing or open question) and how long it lasted.
   -        The reaction of the Speaker to the verbal paraphrasing, both in their verbal as non-verbal expressions.
   -        The non-verbal paraphrasing of the Listener.
   
   The roles are then turned around so that each of the 3 participants has the opportunity to practice all 3 roles.
   
   Final step / Conclusion:
   (MANDATORY to explain what to do in order to conclude the exercise)
   After the 3 rounds the participants are asked to relate their experience in the activity. The following questions can be used to prompt their replies:
   -        Pauses: What about the average time Listeners waited? What was the reaction of the Speaker when the Listener used a pause? What do you think is the purpose of the pause?
   -        Paraphrasing (verbal and non-verbal): What strategies did you use to help paraphrase the content?; How did your Listener show his/her interest and attention as you were speaking?; How did the Listener show his/her non-verbal paraphrasing?; What do you want to take-away about paraphrasing?
   -        How was it for the Listener/Speaker/Observer to do this exercise?
   -        What happened when changing roles, and how did your experience in the former role (in the second and third round of the exercise) influenced your behaviour and interaction?